Sticky Notes Necessary

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith - that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:14-19

Last night I was reflecting on our children's hearts, their loss, grief and pain. Selfishly, I was focusing on ways that I could stop all of the acting out behaviors that are displayed as a result of the children's hurt. It was a selfish thought because it didn't care for their hearts, only the behaviors I am so weary of. I began to pray over their hearts and I realized that my older children don't have a history of love in order to be rooted and grounded in it. They cannot really comprehend the length, height, and depth of the love of Christ or the love of a parent. The reality of their past overrides all that we show and tell them daily about love.

Together we are stumbling around doing this dance of being a family. I parent. They act out, often in fear of things I cannot imagine or never knew of . I correct in love. They lash out or hide resentment inside. We move on and repeat the dance. Too often I assume that while I am parenting and teaching and loving them that they are understanding and embracing my love for them. But often they miss it altogether and our days are filled with correction and weariness.

One of our little kiddos, once firmly rooted in love, has begun to doubt our love and safety after two years of screaming and false accusations during the PTSD rages of the older children. How heartbreaking to see a little heart falter. This sweetie was wise enough to ask me for a sticky note at the table each morning, as a reminder of my love. How insightful of a little one to be able to be able to see their own need. How trusting to know that a parent can meet that need. As I held this crying, hiccuping child after the sticky note request, I prayed and rejoiced that I could meet this need to remind my children of our love in such a simple way.

As I prayed over each child this morning with the verses above from Ephesians, it became a great desire in my heart to show them the length, breadth, and depth of my love and where it comes from. Correction is necessary, but it means something terribly scary to my children if it is not in a context of this deep love that they don't yet understand. This morning I prayed for God to renew His love in my heart so that strengthened and with power through His Spirit I would be filled with the fullness of God in order to overflow with love for my children today.

I am happy to provide sticky notes around the table this morning and a heart of joy in this journey today.