Outdo One Another

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:10

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit,

but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests,

but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

These verses have been particularly helpful in our home during the course of the last few weeks, especially in teaching and correcting behaviors rooted in selfishness and pride. It has given the children a picture of what true love for one another looks like, and an opportunity to try again, when necessary, to show behavior and attitudes that not only honor the other person, but also behavior and attitudes that honor God. It was an added review for us when our pastor used Romans 12:9-10 as the key verses this past Sunday for the sermon An Exhortation to Racial Harmony: Love One Another With Authenticity, Discernment, Affection and Honor. I'd recommend taking the time to listen to it.

We have had a very challenging week with trauma/drama behaviors in our home. One of our sweet children is going through an intense season of working out some intense past trauma issues and learning to trust us with the vulnerability of that. It has brought about a lot of emotional turmoil, as can be expected and is understandably difficult on everyone. Though the offensive raging, aggression, manipulating, oppositional behaviors are a repeat from what we have frequently experienced, this week I have been noticing something wonderfully different. Last night as I tucked the last child into bed, much (not all) of the other children's usual fear in response to those trauma behaviors was replaced by behaviors of love and honor. In the midst of the hurting child's raging there were sweet 'good nights' and 'I love yous' said by all the others. There were words of comfort and prayers for peace offered for the hurting sibling. There were actions and attitudes that were sincere to "outdo one another", showing quiet, humble honor to a sibling they love.

I often worry about the impact on our other children of living in a home so infused with past trauma. I worry and cry out to God. And I worry some more because I love my children and I have such a limited perspective and such a weak heart. And then I remember that God's sovereignty ordained every step of this journey and His good plan for us is to teach His good Word in it the midst of it. Nights like last night that are full both of trauma and full of God's sweet presence and peace are a comfort to my heart. It is not in the absence of trouble that we find God's blessing, but that God is with us in our trouble. That is our blessing! Oh, that my heart would not forget...