Present & Patient

Keep a Quiet Heart:

by Elisabeth Elliot

Waiting requires patience - a willingness calmly to accept what we have or have not, where we are or where we wish we were, whomever we live or work with.

To want what we don't have is impatience, for one thing, and it is to mistrust God. Is He not in complete control of all circumstances, events, and conditions? If some are beyond His control, He is not God.

A spirit of resistance cannot wait on God. I believe it is this spirit which is the reason for some of our greatest sufferings. Opposing the workings of the Lord in and through our "problems" only exacerbates them. It is here and now that we must win our victories or suffer defeats. Spiritual victories are won in the quiet acceptance of ordinary events, which are God's "bright servants," standing all around us. (p. 135)

This week we are waiting to see if our offer on a house was accepted by the seller. Waiting is nothing new for us, though, and my heart is encouraged that God already knows the outcome of our waiting. I read the passage above this morning and was delighted to find a great sense of peace covering this season of waiting. I wish I could say that my patience and trust in God has been the same in every season, "calmly accepting what we have or have not, where we are or where we wish we were, whomever we live or work with."

It is that last statement, calmly accepting whomever we live with, that I wish I could change about my heart during the past season because I know that has been a struggle. At times I was not even sure how to accept my child because I didn't realize that she had a disability. Behaviors that looked like outright sin and rebellion (causing hurt and pain for others) were caused by confusion and fear. And my reaction was not one of patient acceptance, but of entitlement. (More on that another day.) This is why FASD is called a hidden disability - because she looked so normal and could function in a kind-of-typical way at times - and then other times things fell apart and exploded and the whole house shook. Literally.

Understanding my child's disability has been such a gift. I can see her as completely precious and walk along side her. All along I have realized that I need to be present with my struggling child in order to help her; and for a time it has seemed like an anchor that weighed me down. To explain this more clearly, it means that I need to be in the same room with this child almost all of the time and direct almost all choices in order to help her make good choices. It can be exhausting, but we have found that a picture schedule helps to make for short, independent blocks of time. Learning more about my child and how her brain works, I can have compassion and understanding instead of frustration. I can be present with her and patient - calmly accepting and joyfully supporting her.

Carrie at Days of Wonder and Grace wrote a super helpful and well-written article today about being fully present with her daughter and offering the supports needed to help her daughter make good choices. I highly recommend linking over to read it!