But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
We live in a confused-ability household. I know, I just made up that term. What I mean by it though, is that grade-levels and such qualifying terminologies are arbitrary for our children. The reality of living in a confused-ability household is that there are interpersonal consequences of having the blessing and challenge of managing both advanced learners and disabled or delayed learners and the relational squabbles that result. It is basic sin nature.
Let me paint you a quick picture. We homeschool for several reasons. One of those reasons is to facilitate bonding and attachment and to work on key life skills that must be learned in a family setting. Another reason is that none of our children are working at grade level and we feel that it is in their best interests to meet them at their developmental and academic ability levels. It happens to be a bonus that I am a former teacher and love teaching. There are a multitude of other reasons that we homeschool, but not enough time to elaborate here. Back to the picture of our confused-ability household. We have a five year-old who began kindergarten a year early and who is working on first grade academic texts - reading and math. And we have a nine year-old with a myriad of disabilities and delays who functions at about the 4-5 year old ability level with communication skills, does 2nd grade math, and participates in 3rd grade extra-curricular events (church, dance, swimming) but does not have the social ability to really function well in those settings. When you put those two together in a room - and they are together all day long since we homeschool - you need a lot of bug spray!
Bug spray, it is the fruit of the Spirit - patience. Actually, it could be considered several of the fruits of the Spirit: peace, patience, self-control, goodness. Spray it on baby! In a house filled with stuff that could bug you like crazy, you need to apply it liberally! So, when our five year-old cheers because we are having her favorite food for lunch (peanut butter sandwiches) and our nine year-old throws a fit because she has a receptive language delay and misunderstands the five year-old's celebration for a personal attack (because she does not like peanut butter sandwiches) we tell them both to put on some bug spray. Spray on the patience, spray on the peace, spray on the self-control and goodness and love that helps you to care for your sister in this situation! Don't let her confusion, tantrum, language delay, personal attack, etc. bug you. Put on your bug spray. Ask God to help you get through this tough moment in the house - and we are all in the house all the time (except for super hero husband who works to provide for the family and gets to escape every day), so we all need to rely on God and depend on His Spirit for the grace necessary to redeem the challenging moments that come from living in a confused-ability household.
In case you are wondering, preparing, planning or praying for your future adoption of an older sibling group, we expect some of these delays and "confused-abilities" to work themselves out over time. Other disabilities that our children struggle with will be life-long and will become a testimony of God's provision and care for both them and our family as we walk together into the future, depending on His daily grace. On the flip side, our children whose abilities are far advanced for their age have their own unique challenges and blessings and we anticipate those will work themselves out over time as well. We are equally blessed and challenged by learning to parent all of the children's needs well. We are thankful for the opportunities to put on our own daily dose(s) of bug spray as we depend on the Spirit for the love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control necessary to minister to our children's hearts and minds each day.
3 comments:
What great words of wisdom...for any parent. I pray that God will continue to use your struggles and joys and sorrows for His glory!
What great advice for ANY parent! (And so fitting since I AGAIN spanked Caleb for getting out of bed just a minute ago!) I pray that all of us can spray on the fruit of the spirit and that the Holy Spirit would continue to rule over our lives...not matter how hard and exhausting they may be.
that's a great word picture. how can you do it, Megan? you are in the midst of exhausting life and yet, you are able to think outside the box. Jesus loves you and lays claim to your heart. You are beautiful and i love you, too!
Post a Comment