Picking Up The Pieces

Psalm 13

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.

Psalm 55: 16-18

But I call to God, and the LORD will save me.
Evening and morning and at noon
I utter my complaint and moan,
and he hears my voice.
He redeems my soul in safety
from the battle that I wage,
for many are arrayed against me.

Our school week started with a bang Monday morning when two of the kids were starting their school work, one of the kids was unloading/loading the dishwasher, one of the kids was clearing the table, and I was helping two of the kids stay focused on brushing their teeth without spraying each other with water in the bathroom (you can guess which ones but I won't say). While upstairs in the bathroom I heard a loud sound coming from the kitchen and then running and someone came to tell me that a glass was dropped and had shattered, surrounding one of the kids in the kitchen with tiny slivers of glass. By the time I got to the kitchen two of the other kids were already helping to sweep up the debris. Everyone stayed relatively calm as I reassured the worried child that it was just a glass and that her safety and her heart were more important than the glass.

As I swept, vacuumed, and wiped the countertop, stove and floor clear of tiny glass pieces, some of the children went back to their school work, others took the opportunity to play instead of do school work (unplanned free time!), and others hung out and watched me and chatted. I reflected on the few glasses that remained left unbroken in our cupboard as I tried to rid the kitchen of glass slivers. We had registered for those glasses at Target as a wedding gift eleven and a half years ago. Had we known that they would be so fragile, or that we would have so many young/busy/preoccupied/emotional hands handling them we would have registered for something a bit more industrial and less breakable. Back then we had no idea who would be in our kitchen today.

I smile as I consider this because God knew back then and He knew that my heart would need some broken dishes and broken glasses. He knew my heart would need lots of broken things in this world to help me see the real value of those things and the value of the relationships with the people who break them. He also knew my heart would need to be broken again and again by those people I love in order to help me see the value of my relationship with Him.

We are all hurting people, some of us more hurt than others. Hurting people do hurtful things and that is where God's grace comes in. Life is real and it hurts sometimes. It requires forgiveness and grace. Without it we would be an island in that sea of brokenness crying out "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?" When we come to a place of forgiveness and grace we can say, "I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me." We can say it knowing the full depth of our own sin and selfishness against God and His great love for us. He dealt bountifully with us, extending us grace and forgiveness through Jesus on the cross in the midst of our brokenness and sin.

This week there was joy in picking up many little pieces of brokenness around our home: pieces of fear, regret, sorrow, anger, jealousy, pain. This is a gift because sometimes it is overwhelming to look at all the pieces to pick up, like looking at all the shards and slivers of glass littered about my kitchen on Monday morning. When I focus on the brokenness and hurt instead of what God has already done, I feel like crying out "How long, O Lord?". When I can see what God has done and rejoice in what He is doing I know "He redeems my soul in safety" even in the midst of earthly trials.