Joy In Love

Romans 5:6-8

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Zephaniah 3:17

The LORD your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

I want to begin this with a disclaimer. Discussing hard things can be dangerous and can sometimes come at the expense of others. I love my children dearly and desperately want to protect their hearts. It is my hope that my words here will not bring them shame or harm but will be a blessing to them as they see my desire to love them and honor God. I was blessed to read a blog post titled Confidence and Respect are Needed by one of our good friends, admonishing all parents toward wisdom, and self-control in their words about and towards their children and towards building up their children. Walking the life of parenting children from hard backgrounds is a fine line of acknowledging the truth of this reality (not sugar coating life or denying reality) while respecting our children's hearts. God wants us to build up our children and other parents walking this road and I think it is possible to do it through His Word.

This week I have had a plethora of opportunities to reflect on God's love for me in my brokenness and that has driven me to reflect on my love for my children. Understanding how much God has done for me through Christ and how He loves me in my own brokenness has helped me to love my children in their brokenness.

I am amazed by what God has done in our family. God has given me a glimpse of seeing our children as precious gifts, opportunities to love, learn and grow. I am overwhelmed and amazed by the fact that they are here with us and that God orchestrated everything (paperwork, finances, government approval x 2 countries, past life situations of incredible intensity) to bring them here. No matter how challenging their behaviors may be at times, my children are not the enemy, and they really don't want to be. They want to be loved, protected, rejoiced over, delighted in, celebrated, cheered on, coached, taught, accepted, and embraced for all that they are. Sadly, I find myself doing these things sometimes for all that I wish they would become, or all that I feel that they could/should become. Even worse, I find myself doing these things for all that I wish they would quit doing. It is not that way between us and God. He chose us before the creation of the world, while we were still sinners, and gave His own Son for us. And while we were still sinners, He loved us, delighted in us, danced over us, rejoiced over us, called us His own and drew us to Himself. How many of us believers came to Him willingly without stumbling, turning back, or throwing a fit over giving up our selfish ways? And He is good to love us still. And He loves us well. He loves us completely, lavishly. His love is good.

As I contemplate how God loves me, I feel growing in myself a fierce desire to love my children that way. I want them to know that they are called and accepted by us, rejoiced over and delighted in as members of the family. I want grace and love to abound. I know that I certainly didn't come to a place of joyful obedience in Christ before I understood these truths from His Word. Honestly and ashamedly, it has taken me a long, long time to get to a place of stubborn obedience in Christ and it is still in progress. It is unrealistic for me to expect my children to have a joyful obedience or acceptance of me before they understand the reality of my love for them. Knowing their backgrounds, it may take some time for them to fully grasp the reality of my love. It is good that we have a God that is the ultimate example of patient love and grace in our lives.