Ten Years Ago Today

I'm sure we never imagined our life would be this full, this wild, or this dependent on God's sovereignty and grace when we said our vows ten years ago today. When I woke up this morning to a house full of surprises Nic excitedly wished me "Happy Anniversary!" and all I could barely squeak out was, "I hope it will be." My days at home with the kids are like that, lots of ups and downs, twists and turns. I hold on tight each day and was hoping for a happy anniversary sans lying, stealing and screaming from one particular sweetie, but realistic that today could hold more of the same as yesterday, the day before and so forth. Being hopeful but realistic is helpful and I have been coming before God daily in prayer asking Him for the grace to not let my joy each day be dependent on the very hurt behaviors that go on within my house. It is one hurdle altogether to get past the thinking that these are simply naughty behaviors and "bad" kids as they have been labeled by too many social workers in the past, and to get to understanding the root of the heart issues and to lovingly correct their hearts with God's grace and forgiveness. The next hurdle is to not get discouraged since this is a long-haul type of journey and the destination seems so far off some days.

Back to my happy anniversary full of surprises. I woke up to find this at my place at the table:

Inside was a gift card to a restaurant for a real date (not for today), and a cleverly written note directing me to the next hidden surprise:

Somewhere inside these toy baskets was a sweet treat for me!

That bowl of candy came with a sweet little note regarding storing up our treasures in heaven and directions to look where we store our food for the next surprise:

This note was a reminder of rejoicing together in God's blessings in our marriage during the past ten years and I was directed to look where we keep the children's instruments for rejoicing for the next surprise:

This final treat and note gave thanks for our "bliss" filled marriage and had me heading to the basement to find the final hidden surprise:

Each surprise and accompanying note had a significance for our marriage and God's provision for us. Each surprise contained ten items - one for each year of our marriage. It was a very sweet way (figuratively and literally) to remember our anniversary and celebrate what God has done throughout these years. I am thankful to God for His provision and protection in our marriage through difficult and wonderful times. I am thankful to God for my husband who amazes me.

On a cute and funny note, yesterday the kids and I were talking about our upcoming anniversary today. They were very, very excited. I enlisted their help and together we all cleaned the garage as an early anniversary surprise. Even Nic's workbench, which has been covered in piles of projects since shortly after it was installed, was completely cleaned off. Today the kids decided the super clean work bench would be better used as an "art work station" to dry their paintings on and store their paint supplies on - kind of like a backwards anniversary gift to themselves. This won't last long.

While we were discussing anniversaries and doing the math to figure out how old Nic and I were when we got married 10 years ago, the kids got so excited for our anniversary. For our big girls the concept of a lasting marriage, or even a legitimate one (not just a temporary, live-in boyfriend), is a relatively new idea and one they were completely unfamiliar with when they joined our family. They are amazed that Nic and I have known each other as long as we have, and that we have a shared history that includes so much that they are still learning about. Every where we drive in the city we tell them stories of things we have done together and they just eat it up. The sweeties got so carried away with the concept of our anniversary that they just couldn't wait to celebrate with us. These were a few of the comments I heard as we ate breakfast and planned the big day:

• "I hope I don't miss the anniversary!" (to which I explained that it's not really like a birthday party, just a date on a calendar that is special to Papa and I)
• "What are we going to do for the anniversary?" (to which I explained that the anniversary is really a celebration for the husband and wife - not necessarily a party for the kiddos)
• "When can we start getting ready for the anniversary?" (still not sinking in here - they think it is really about them and they were about to take showers - which they hate, fix their hair and put their party clothes on)

Finally I realized that our "big day" was really special to our children because it signaled stability, consistency, and love that was something bigger than them. It started before any of them joined our family and they are beginning to realize that they are not responsible for the family as a unit - that God brought us together and that He will sustain us. Celebrating our anniversary together was comforting and exciting for them because it allowed them to remove that burden of holding the family together from their shoulders, whether this was a past burden or a new worry for the kids in our home they needed to see us celebrate today. So, in spite of a few bouts of pouting and a tad bit of screaming (not us, the kids!) we enjoyed a wonderfully happy anniversary - with our children!

We decided it would be really neat to take the children to Nazareth Chapel at Northwestern College where we were married. We entered to beautiful piano music as one of the students was playing in the unlit chapel. He continued to play as we reminisced and shared our story with the kids. We let the kids take some pictures of us and then we walked around the college campus where we both received our undergraduate degrees - Nic's in Biblical Studies and mine in Elementary Education, Bible, and Spanish. The kids loved hearing stories of our time there and would have stayed for hours exploring and listening if we had more time. We ended the night with our weekly church picnic - at a smothering 93+ degrees and high humidity.

As we drove home Nic was recalling one of his jobs at the college working in the auditorium where he ran the sound system and lighting for events and chapel services. He was explaining how as he stepped back into the auditorium he could easily recall exactly how to do the job he had enjoyed for years on campus, and was happily chattering away explaining parts of the job to Serena. He was so confident and great at explaining and teaching the kids about his technical job on campus. My feelings back on campus were exactly the opposite, like I didn't belong or maybe never had. My general feelings throughout life have been of mild insecurity, not in a self-defeating sort of way, but in a way that understands my lack of self-sufficiency. I am thankful when the apostle Paul writes of Jesus reminder to him: "'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" Paul accepts this confirmation of his weakness and continues, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9. I have never felt this lack of self-sufficiency and ability to meet needs more than in parenting these precious children that God has entrusted to me. Though He prepared me well, I am unable in my own strength. My inability drives my dependency on Him and it is good. He is sovereign and sufficient, and His grace is beautiful, and most beautifully seen in our trials and weaknesses.

Since I have little time for technology I'll close with a few pictures of today's anniversary celebration at Northwestern College. Thanks to Serena for the picture of Nic and I (she's pretty good!) and to the second year theater major who was playing the piano in Naz Chapel for our family picture!