New Mercies and Coffee Every Morning

But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-23

God has been our sufficiency, our peace, our protection, our provision, and our comfort during this journey of following after Him in adoption. He is gracious to give us some things along the way that help to get us through each concurrent 24 hour period.

One of those precious gifts every morning is His new mercy which is never ending. I could not make it in this parenting journey without soaking up God's word and His mercies for me at the start of every day as I simultaneously soak up His gift of coffee for my sleep deprived body. No matter how much sleep I get or lack, I crave the quiet of the hours before the children wake up every morning. The hours when the house is quiet, clean, orderly and prepared. The hours when it is just me, my coffee and my Bible - no distractions. The hours when it is too early for the phone to ring and way too early to return any phone calls.

Another gift has been the gift of books. I love books of all kinds, but this year my shelf has been full of books to help me sort out my children's past hurts and how I can best reach their hearts. I have also worked through a few books that have encouraged me to dig deeper in my faith and to persevere in the midst of trials. I love to read. Aside from my own books we make a weekly trek to the library for a bag full of children's literature each week. One of my favorite mommy pleasures is cuddling up with all the children and reading books together - which includes a need for more coffee lest I fall asleep reading to the children, especially after lunch. Ashamedly I'm well on my way to financing the new wing of the library due to our overdue fines, even with all the weekly visits. In my extensive reading this year, I have learned that the views representing parenting hurt children vary widly and not all views fit with all parenting styles, family compositions, or worldviews, so it is best to be well educated and well read on a variety of different therapeutic parenting methodologies in order to find the one (or a few aspects of several) that works best for your child's and your family's needs and beliefs. On the side I include a book list of recommended reading.

One of the richest blessings has been the gift of friends - some friends that I have never met in person who are walking this road too, other friends who I watch each week live out the gospel message to care for the orphan and who understand our experience without having to ask, and still other friends who have no idea what on earth goes on in our home but who care enough to try to understand and who love us despite how crazy it all seems. God has blessed us with friends who pray with us and cry with us over the depth of loss and the greatness of God's sovereignty and goodness. We have friends whose phone calls I haven't returned in over a year because of our crazy life but who keep calling anyway. Their compassion and williness to beunoffended by our human response to hard times as we cling to God is a gift of grace and love in our lives. In my most intense moments of hurt and grief God has not left me alone.

Another blessing has been the YMCA. I would really, really stink if it were not for the YMCA. Yes, the only time I showered for most of the past year has been at the YMCA. They are nice people there. Since our kid's trauma is most often expressed at home, their behavior in public is much better and I figure that there are more trained staff dressed in red in KID'S STUFF at the YMCA than there are adults at home once Nic leaves for work, so if I want a shower or a sanity break we head to the Y. No one is ever left unattended at home for me to take care of such wonderful and excessive things like showers, so I just take care of that and a little sweat therapy at the YMCA. If you happen to be at the Andover Y, I happen to be that crazy lady on the treadmill in the far corner who appears to be silently singing along with her ipod while running, sweating, and crying, all while making hand motions, nodding my head in agreement, and sometimes reading a therapeutic parenting book. I am quite the sight and yet I manage to run an average of 12-16 miles a week - mostly so that I can add lots and lots of sugar, chocolate and half and half to my multiple pots of coffee each day.

Finally, between my new mercies every morning and my multiple pots of coffee throughout the day, I'm certain I couldn't make it through the day without music. I love music. I love playing the piano - though it is rare to find time for that these days. I love listening to music. Most often right now, I experience great joy and saving sanity through the help of music. With the help of music I am reminded of God's great love for me, the depth of my sin and my need for the cross, and my future home in heaven as a child of God. Even on our wild and traumatic days, music fills our home with promises of peace and glimpses of joy. One of my very favorite things is to see and hear my children singing songs of Biblical promises throughout the day. What a treasure in this difficult journey! And when the days are hard I find myself singing the promises as a reminder, too. I was recently blessed when a friend gave me the Sovereign Grace Kids CD titled To Be Like Jesus with songs focusing on teaching the fruits of the Spirit. This CD is perfect for times when I personally need to remember to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, and kind in the midst of trials here at home.

In conclusion, if you are on your way out the door to bring home your next older child/sibling group/difficult adoption, I highly recommend you arm yourself with the following helps to aid you in your daily work:

• God's new mercies and His Word for you each morning
• coffee or other cafeinated beverage of choice for sleep depravation
• understanding, encouraging and educated friends
• books to help you help your kids or to help you relax and bond with them
• a safe place where you can blow off steam and get a shower in peace
• music to ground you in the Word when the intensity of the day wears you down

I rejoice and give thanks to God for His new mercies and the coffee He provides for me every morning. His provisions are perfect in our every need.