Worn Out, Worn Down

2 Corinthians 6:3-10

We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry,  but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger;  by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love;  by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left;  through honor and dishonor,through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true;  as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed;  as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything.

This, we remember, is the great reward of the gospel: God himself.  When we risk our lives to run after Christ, we discover the safety that is found only in his sovereignty, the security that is found only in his love, and the satisfaction that is found only in his presence.  This is the eternally great reward, and we would be foolish to settle for anything less... 

Radical obedience to Christ is not easy; it is dangerous.  It is not smooth sailing aboard a luxury liner; it is sacrificial duty aboard a troop carrier.  It is not comfort, nor health, not wealth and not prosperity in this world.  Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all these things.  But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ.  And he is more than enough for us.  (Taken from Radical by David Platt, p. 181)

Today was one of the more hard-ish days in our home.  I say it that way because over the years I have become more comfortable with the challenges we experience regularly within our home.  

Comfortable.

To be honest, there is nothing comfortable with being hated, despised, and rejected by those within your home, whom you refer to as blessings, who you deeply love, and who you call your children.

Yes, those are strong words.  Hated.  Despised.  Rejected.  It is not a pretty picture.  The details of today's events are too personal and ugly to describe, but I'm sure that those of you who share this journey can relate   in the wave of sorrow that washes over a mom after a day like today.

In the midst of this evening's sorrow there is peace.  Sweet peace that grips my heart and comforts my soul, readying me for the morning even as I lay my head down.

It is the peace of knowing, without a doubt, that this hard place is the place where God wants me and that these children are the children He wants me to love.  No questions.  He has drawn our hearts to adoption and brought these children to our home.  By His sovereign design we have entered into their own suffering and joined with them in their pain so that we might show them the sweetness of His grace when their hearts are able to receive it.

This life of risk is not picture-perfect.  It would not make a good news story.  It is not a story of worldly success.  This is a story of love and pain, grace and sorrow.  It is the story God is weaving through our days and our life.  I take comfort in His sovereignty for us.  He is more than enough for us.