Hope in Hard Times

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

Each day several ideas pop into my head about things I would love to blog about.  Some are silly and others are serious.  I rarely find time in the midst of our joy-filled and busy days to sit down and put the thoughts into meaningful words.  I am a doer and I love to be doing ANYTHING, but recently, the Lord has shown me that I need to take time each morning to be still and quiet before Him, to listen, and not to DO for a time.  Besides the general lack of writing time in my schedule, my lack of blogging has been due to spending more time in quiet reflection each morning.  In the quiet of the early morning at our house, cuddled under piles of blankets, in front of the toasty fireplace with my coffee cup in hand, and snuggled next to our pups, God has been impressing on my heart that I need to share hope and encouragement for other adoptive families that may be walking through hard times.  If you are one of those families, I pray that this encouragement would be a blessing to you.  I trust that God has not wasted a moment of our trials and challenges.  They have all been for our good and His glory.

Afflicted in Every Way:

We have gone through seasons where we have viewed challenges in adoption as afflictions - not only afflictions for us to endure, but afflictions that our kids display.  We spent countless hours (days! years!) seeking doctors, specialists, medications, therapies, and resources to help fix these afflictions so that we would be able to love our children more easily.  It is really humbling to admit this.  I desperately wanted the behaviors, needs, fears, anxieties, sensitivities, and attitudes fixed, thinking that it would help me love my child.  While meeting (diagnosing and treating) real needs is an important part of parenting, it is a backwards concept to think that my child should be 'loveable' before I am willing to love him or her.  Goodness!  I am so thankful that God doesn't love us this way, waiting for us to be 'loveable' before choosing to love us.  Even more convicting is the fact that God doesn't see us in our own affliction (sin) and choose to love us only after we have overcome the affliction.  Oh, but He loved us while we were still sinners and He died for us!  (Romans 5:8)

Perplexed:
What to do!  What to do!  How often have we labored in prayer for wisdom in parenting!  How desperate we have been for God's mercy in the area of wisdom!  We jumped into parenting adolescents and teenagers.  We had barely gotten through reading all the parenting books for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, and early elementary students, as well as all the books on adoption, trauma, grief, and healing, when God brought our two oldest children home.  Adopting six children in six years spanning in age from 4 months to 16 years (on arrival) set us on a pretty sharp learning curve.  Though I love to read and ponder over educational philosophies for children, there came a time that I needed to set aside all the worldly wisdom in books and purposefully seek eternal wisdom from the Holy Book.  God was so good to bring others alongside us in this journey who were deeply rooted in the Word to help build us up and keep us from despair.  The Bible has become so precious to us as we have sought wisdom.  It is our most useful tool in teaching, reproof, correction, and training.  (2 Timothy 3:16)

Persecuted:
Hurtful behaviors stem from hurting hearts.  It is hard to remember this when you find yourself the target of persecution.  It is even harder to accept when you did not cause the initial hurt, but only welcomed the hurting child home, not being able to fully fathom the depth of pain they had experienced in their young lifetime.  During times of intense persecution in our home we have found it good to reflect on Paul's life and persecution and God's faithfulness to him.  We are reminded that even in all of the persecution Paul was not abandoned or forsaken.  We pray that we could see each of our children as God sees them, even in the midst of persecution and challenges.  We remember God's faithfulness to His children throughout history and to us in our lifetime.  And we pray that we could love sacrificially and mercifully as God teaches us in Luke 6:27-36

Struck Down:
Emotionally, mentally, physically...it is a sorrow to find yourself 'struck down' in challenges.  Sometimes it is a  shock to find yourself physically and literally struck down by your child.  We wonder how did we ever get here...how did we get to a place where we are 'struck down'?  After all the adoption preparation, the books, the classes, the seminars and trainings.  After all the paperwork, the medical and background checks, the  homestudies and government approvals.  How could we go from being so competent to being so utterly wiped out and dependent upon Christ?  This has been especially good for each of us as parents, and for our marriage.  To see God's complete grace in humbling us without destroying us.  We are able to see His abundant grace with fresh eyes and to feel His sustaining power in the midst of our own weakness.  What a gift to come to this place, to the end of ourselves, and to find an all-sufficient, all-powerful God who is more than able to sustain us.

In our journey through being afflicted, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down, we have found God to be faithful.  While my writing did not include any specific incidents from within our home, I am certain that if you are walking the journey of a hard adoption experience you will have your own incidents to insert into each of those phrases.  It is my prayer that you will see God's faithfulness and sufficiency for you, even in the midst of trial, remembering that He promises that we will not be crushed, driven to despair, forsaken, or destroyed.  I am confident that God has brought us comfort in this often hazardous journey in order that we might comfort others who find themselves on the same road.