Sowing in Tears, Reaping in Joy

Psalm 126
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.

Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like streams in the Negeb!
Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.

Since the beginning of my pregnancy and its many complications, ending with laparoscopic surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy last Friday, God has been so merciful to us.  We have received grace upon grace as we sense God's comfort through the encouragement, help, and support of family and friends.  We have also seen God's grace as our children try to grasp an understanding of this great God who gives life and takes it away.  We have watched them grow in understanding of His sovereignty and love for us.  We have been comforted and rejoice as we watch them learn to serve and love within the context of family life.  In all of this, we can say with the Psalmist, The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.

To be honest, family life has not always been full of rejoicing.  We have sown many tears of sorrow, grief, and humble desperation.  This blog began as we walked through many long and lonely valleys, at the end of ourselves, and learning to depend on Jesus as our All-in-All.  And God who began a good work in our family has been faithful to continue it.  We know from His promises that He will be faithful to complete it (Phil. 1:6).  For those of you reading who find yourselves in a valley that is darker than you ever imagined, I urge you to cling to His promises.

Even in the complications and grief of the past weeks, I can say that I am glad and that God has done great (and often hard) things for us.  In my recovery I have felt the physical pain of surgery, a physical reminder of loss and also of God's great saving grace.  I am reminded that while our baby died so early, I also could have died, too, from complications of a ruptured fallopian tube.  I don't deserve to live.  I don't deserve God's unmerited favor.  He was merciful to me, providing life-giving medical care and an abundance of compassionate support. 

On top of God sustaining my life, I am blessed to able to enjoy my precious children, children who bring me great joy and make me laugh.  The laughing itself is a gift of joy.  Recovering from abdominal surgery is painful, especially when I laugh.  My children have made me laugh so much today, from one child's mishap with a razor as he tried to shave his face decades before he'll be ready, to another child's misunderstanding of English that resulted in a headstand in the middle of the living room, to a child's recounting of an experience blessing our lonely neighbor lady by mowing her lawn under her direct (and exhastive) supervision.  The (abdominal) pain from laughter is a pleasant blessing as I reap in joy!