Complications & Comfort

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, wiht the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Philippians 4:11-13

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 

This post has been about three weeks in the making as God has been writing this story in our lives and our hearts.  In overwhelming joy and heartbreaking complications, God has been our constant comfort.  Three weeks ago we found out we were pregnant.  It was our first pregnancy and it brought a quickly fading joy as it was immediately frought with painful complications.  Quickly I ended up in the emergency room with excruciating pain and diagnosed with a possible ectopic pregnancy.  I was monitored closely and made many visits to have my blood drawn and hCG levels monitored.  My arms looked like I was a prize fighter, all bruised and ugly.  Not having any idea what to expect in pregnancy, I was confused by all of the pain and testing, but I was guessing that my experience was not within the realm of normal.  Having children who have already lost parents in death, it was important to us to be open with our children to help minimize the fear of seeing me in pain and making visits to the emergency room and specialists.  God brought amazing peace and comfort to each of our hearts as we shared our news with our children and they prayed for God's sustaining grace and goodness in our lives.

Nearly two weeks later I ended up in the emergency room a second time.  It was a much more eventful ride by ambulance with bells and whistles, IV's and morphine.  It was a ride I am sure I won't soon forget.  At the same time as my sweet ride to the ER, we had two children on opposite ends of the metro area playing soccer and four children at home.  God provided comfort in rides home and a dear friend to stay and pray with our children.  Two more ultrasounds and some significant bruises from lab work later, the ER sent me home having concluded that the corpus luteal cyst (normal in pregnancy) had ruptured (not normal) causing significant pain and some bleeding/fluid in the abdomen.

Both the ER doctors and the OB were content to continue to monitor things and assured us that this pregnancy was miscarrying naturally.  Of course, our hearts were saddened, but God's grace is great.  In my life I have been an adoptee, an adoptive mom, a placing mom (through disruption), and now a mom who knows the joy and sorrow of pregnancy and miscarriage.  I knew that God would comfort us in our affliction and use every circumstance in our lives, whether being brought low or abounding, for His glory and our good so that we might comfort others with the hope we have in Him. 

After recoving from the most recent ER visit I began feeling more pain.  I had been assured that things would begin to improve (pain-wise) now, and that I should be feeling significantly better soon.  After a sleepless and painful Thursday night, I decided to call a different OB for a second opinion.  Having never been pregnant, I had little expertise in researching OB doctors, but there was one that I had heard great things about.  Our Sunday School class had prayed for this particular doctor last year when he took a pro-life stand defending the hippocratic oath and opposing abortion.  I knew that I could trust a doctor who would risk his practice to stand up for the sanctity of life.  I called the clinic and was amazed at the compassion and care from the clinic staff.  The doctor himself called me back immediately and I was in his office just a few hours later when Nic could get home to drive me there.

I had no idea what to expect any more from pregnancy, to emergency, to a ruptured cyst, and a miscarriage - I had no expectations other than that God would be our Comforter.  During the office visit it was clear that there were further complications and I was scheduled for a laparoscopy as soon as I could be anesthetized later the same day.  The care of the staff at the hospital (yet a different hospital from my first two visits) was amazing and the doctor's care for me and our family was a sweet comfort to my heart.  The final complication was that the pregnancy was ectopic and was not miscarrying naturally but had burst the left fallopian tube and was causing significant bleeding.  Indeed this had been the cause of the significant pain for the previous weeks.  When all the tissue was removed the doctor said it was the size of an orange and the largest ectopic pregnancy he had ever removed.  I guess a growth that size in a tiny tube would cause significant pain and physical discomfort.  I had sorrowed over having to make a decision to remove a potentially viable pregnancy and God saw fit to comfort me in this, too.  It was a comfort to my heart to know that the pregnancy had ended weeks earlier on its own without ever forming the gestational sac, but tissue had continued to grow within the tube. 

We are amazed and thankful for friends and family who have surrounded us and cared for us, providing comfort in this time of need and pain.  We are blessed to see God draw our family together through these circumstances of overwhelming joy and heartbreaking complications.  It is a joy to see our children embrace our family, love one another, and be a comfort to one another in a complicated time.  It is a sweet reminder of the work of God, the Father of all mercies, in their lives.  It is a beautiful reminder that I am blessed to be their mom.  And all of this has been a precious comfort knowing that God sovereignly and sufficiently cared for every detail of this pregnancy and my health.  And we cannot say enough how thankful we are for the care of Dr. Matthew Anderson and the staff at AALFA Family Clinic. 

Please rejoice with us that God has been our comfort in the midst of complications and that He is our joy!  Please pray for us as our hearts grieve in our affliction and are able to find comfort to share with others.  And please pray for my body to continue to heal and recover, learning even in this situation to be content and to depend on God to strengthen me.