Halloween

If you saw the title and were hoping for some cute pictures of the kids, I'm sorry to say that you'll be disappointed, because there are none. Not that there are no cute kids here, just no cute pictures of kids dressed up. Not today anyway. The kiddos regularly dress up here, but we just didn't make time for it today. Today was a regular Sunday just like any other Sunday. In fact, I had actually forgotten it was Halloween until we came home from the Spanish service at the 16/33 Center and saw car loads of kids walking the streets near our home. But forgetting wasn't the reason that we didn't dress up today, either. Nor was being too busy. We all actually took afternoon naps today with the beautiful fall sunshine pouring in our living room windows.

So you are probably wondering why our kids didn't put on their dress up costumes and gather up some candy looking incredibly adorable...candy that we could dip into after bedtime, no less! Even though we both grew up in families that celebrated Halloween in cute, non-scary, and very small, farming-community typical ways (pumpkins, hay rides, trick-or-treating), we are confident about our decision to not celebrate Halloween as a family now that we have children, especially now that we have these precious children.

First of all, our kids don't need any candy. : ) And as children with attachment challenges, they don't need to be getting candy from neighbors, strangers, or from winning games at a local or church event. Candy is one of those super good things that all kids love. Candy sometimes translates directly into "love" for our attachment challenged kiddos, and so that is why we like to be the ones giving our kids candy and baked goodies (in moderation). In this way, we as their parents are meeting this need for good things and making the connection with them.

Second, our precious children have suffered more trauma in their young lives than anyone should ever have to endure, causing them to live daily with the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD affects the way our kids view the world around them, causing them to see everything through the lens of past trauma. Their perceptions do not always match reality, but their perceptions are very real to them and we must work through their perceptions in order to deal with reality. PTSD is a bugger to deal with and I have yet to read a good book on helping children cope with it. I'm open to book recommendations on this topic! Unfortunately, PTSD makes normal, everyday things seem scary at times to our kids. Add in the goblins, ghosts, and skeletons of Halloween and they are just about out of their minds. There are several streets in our community that we avoid driving on until this fall holiday season is passed so that we don't traumatize the kids with the lawn ornaments and decorations. I can't wait for Christmas!

Third, our children are just beginning to have a clear understanding of God and His holiness. They are beginning to be motivated out of a heart's desire to honor Him. While many people can celebrate Halloween simply for the fun of it, our children are struggling to understand why our family does what it does and the meaning behind all that we do. Why celebrate a holiday that has it's history in the spiritual occult and witchcraft, when it is true our desire to communicate to our children about God's sovereignty and delight in His Holiness? It would be confusing for our children to mix in these practices, even if it is "just for the fun of it."

So there you have it...why we don't celebrate Halloween. The kids did a great job accepting our choice to not participate in Halloween - there was not a single argument or complaint. We enjoyed a completely non-eventful and relatively peace-filled weekend together. And that is sweeter to me than all the candy in the neighborhood!