It Matters

Psalm 147:3 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

As I sit and write this I feel something itchy in the back of my shirt and pull out a handful of grass and leaves.  It is the residue from an earlier game of raining grass that I was playing outside with the littlest ones of the family.  It was a silly game that probably looked rather meaningless as we pulled out handfuls of grass and tossed them in the air to rain down on us but it mattered to these two little ones as they laughed and giggled until they were out of breath.  And it mattered to me as it brought simple sweetness and joy to my afternoon.

I have been reflecting on what has really mattered in my life and I cannot stress enough how much my own adoption has mattered.  I absolutely love my adoptive parents - they are truly the best.  I am grateful that God in His sovereignty and love chose these two to be my mom and dad.  Not only that, God chose adoption as the way I would come to understand family.  My parents and their love for me growing up taught me that adoption was a wonderful thing.  In every way it helped me to understand my eternal adoption as a child of God.  

My own adoption story is beautiful.  It is a story saturated with love from a birth mother who sacrificially chose a family to love and raise me, to parents who lavished love upon my brother and I, to grandparents and extended family who joyfully welcomed us into the family.  Growing up I knew that being adopted meant being loved. 

This love and belonging is what has motivated my heart toward adoption and foster care.  It is not always easy but because of my experience I know that it matters to these precious children. 

I understand that not all adoptees have such a joyful and ideal story as I have experienced.  In fact, many children come to their adoptive or foster homes with tragically broken hearts unable to even understand love.  In those dark days of anger and fear, when a child rejects all that you are aiming to give, the love of adoptive and foster parents matters.  When the seasons of rejection seem long and heartbreaking for adoptive and foster parents and siblings, what you are doing really does matter in the lives of your children.  

And it matters in the lives of the children who are already established in your home, whether by birth or adoption.  They see your love.  They see your mistakes.  Well, I know my kids see lots of my mistakes in our attempt at loving all our children.  (This is a valuable opportunity for us to model repentance and humility and for them to learn from my mistakes.)  They see your dependence upon the Lord to walk this journey of joyful obedience, even through much heartache sometimes.  They see that God is faithful and that He is able to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.  They see that eternity is what really matters and modeling the love of the Father and adoption into an eternal family can be done in even in an imperfect, earthly family.  They see that it is worth spending their lives for love, being poured out as a fragrant offering.

Those extended family members who have been chosen, too, as a part of an adoptive or foster family - their roles matter.  Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends...you matter in the lives of adopted and foster children!  Never once in my childhood did I ever believe that I was less cherished because I was not born into the family.  My grandparents' overwhelming love for me confirmed in my heart that I was precious to them.  When I look at the love our parents have for all of our children, both foster and adopted, I know that it matters to our kids.  This summer I was reminded again that the example that our siblings and their spouses give to our kids is priceless. When our children see how we interact with our grown siblings and their families, how we love one another and care for one another, they are learning that family is forever, even into adulthood.  This is an example that some of our kids have never seen prior to coming to our home - adult siblings who love one another and care for one another.  By seeing this lived out they can see how they might someday interact with their siblings and with us.  Knowing the love and support of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends matters!

Tonight I'm thinking of several of our friends who are walking hard roads in adoption these days.  I think of all the people in our lives who love and support us and our growing household of children.  I want them to know that what they are doing matters.  I want them to know that it mattered to me.  I see in my kids' lives that it matters to them, too.  When it is hard, when it feels futile, when it feels broken, when it doesn't make sense, it still matters.