Ashes and Oil

Isaiah 61:3

To grant to those who mourn in Zion-

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord,

that he may be glorified.

Yes, I am aware that I just wrote including this verse this morning. Somehow as I was pouring over this passage and rejoicing over my opportunity to spend time in God's Word, praying and worshiping with my children, I ended up with a different focus than God intended for me today, though both were good and beneficial and a blessing. I looked at the verse above as an opportunity to teach my children the blessing of having a relationship with Jesus, worshiping God and being in His Word. I was excited to teach my children that this relationship is so precious that it exchanges the faint spirit that we wear for a garment of praise and our hearts are anointed with the oil of gladness instead of mourning in order that He may be glorified. Good stuff.

And it was a very hard day for one of our children. Hard. Hard. Hard. This child was not able to choose the garment of praise. Sometimes hurt children choose hurting behaviors. It hurts.

Tonight I was looking forward to a special and refreshing weekend - an opportunity that comes around only once a year and that I have passed up for the past two years. I was looking forward to spending time with some godly women who have been faithful friends and encouragers since I had the opportunity to teach their oldest children in my kindergarten class seven years ago. (Can that be right?!?) I look forward to being with women of the Word, resting in God's sweet goodness and grace for us.

Nic had a special event planned with the children. It was carefully planned and everyone was ready. As the day went on, behaviors got harder and harder. More and more outbursts, more and more defiance. I prayed for the garment of praise for the other children while the storm raged around them. God answered faithfully. In the hour before the children were to leave for their event, defiance turned to physical aggression and our weekend plans were changed.

I will not be joining my dear friends tonight, but am staying home with a sweet, hurting child who is in bed, likely scared, angry, and mourning. After working through the explosion, Nic took the other children for a time of respite to their already scheduled event. As he left we prayed over our decision, working through the sorrow that comes with any disappointment. Nic's prayer of encouragement was precious to me, that God be glorified even in our disappointments and that we would trust Him in every trial.

I am especially comforted tonight by the verses I poured over this morning, considering them for my children. I see God's good gift in this quiet evening at home to read, pray, and rest. I see His provision in the time I will have tomorrow to minister to a hurting and angry heart. It was not my plan for the weekend, but I have found the oil of gladness in trusting God's sovereignty and a garment of praise in knowing His sufficiency. That He may be glorified tonight, I have been given the oil of gladness and a garment of praise in place of ashes and mourning.

Not the absence of trials or the presence of health, wealth and prosperity - these things are not true blessings. No, not even the absence of trials is the true blessing. But having Jesus, his presence, peace, sovereignty and sufficiency in the midst of the trials is the true blessing.