I wanted to give an update about our use of two-by-two time and ask for feedback and ideas from others who also build a special bonding time into their day. We have found that dividing our children up into groups of two for an hour a day after Nic gets home is really good for the children. We have chosen to split them into groups based on their needs for security and attachment. Our big children have specific needs seeking out reassurance of our attention and love that our younger children don't have and so when all of the children are together or when we combine older and younger child we find that there are many more behavior issues that complicate the intended objective behind this time.
This special time each day is meant to be a time to bond together over something fun that the children are almost guaranteed to be successful at. Some children can try to sabotage anything, even plain old fun - but we do our best not to let them. We don't often make this time about food (like going to get ice cream) because food is a big issue for two of our children and because this time comes immediately before supper.
We have had great success with this time each day. The children look forward to it and ask eagerly about what they will be doing with us. They share their two-by-two adventures with each other over the supper table. We have found that it is an opportunity for us to slow down and enjoy the children more as we teach them a new skill or just enjoy playing together for the hour. While we don't spend hours planning ahead, we do take some time to talk and plan every day when Nic gets home, and our plans for this time are always intentional and purposeful, even if it is just playing. For example, on a great day it is possible that one group could handle going to the tennis court and learning a new skill, but on a harder day they may just need to play pictionary so that they aren't frustrated if they are not able to succeed at mastering something new. Our goal is to enjoy this time with our children and for them to enjoy it with us while we encourage them in love. It is a special opportunity to pour into them and we are thankful that we can make time for it most days.
Some things that have been successful during two-by-two time include:
- building forts in the house
- bike rides
- nature hikes
- tennis
- board games or card games
- baking together
- doing crafts for fun, not for a purpose (not making birthday cards for someone)
- reading together (although we already do a LOT of this)
- playing catch
If you spend intentional time one-on-one, or other small group time, with your child(ren) for bonding or attachment reasons (or other reasons) I would love to hear feedback on how you make it successful and some other creative ideas to keep things fresh for our family. Thanks in advance for sharing!
3 comments:
Well, you know, if you ask me, you need to play Barbies! And then the whole time pray that your friends will call so that you don't have to really play them and then when the timer goes off you feel badly so you just reset it and have to play Barbies again anyway. But then you have a blast because your kids have made you in charge of Tiana from New Orleans who is married to prince Caspian and their daughter is Cinderella and then prince Caspian doesn't talk but the New Orleans Tiana does all the talking! And it's awesome! And we all laugh for 20 minutes! Oh, it's fun! Yeah, that's what I suggest!
Set up a treasure hunt. Look behind the fridge. Behind the fridge you find look beneath the sofa, etc. It is great for reading and ESL skills with prepositions and fun. You can also be cryptic. Here you sit and watch TV -- meaning the sofa. The rpize can be stickers or gum or a new book or whatever.
For the older kids do a service scavenger hunt. Write ideas ont he paper before hand. Pick up ___. Ask a neighbor if you can rake their leaves. Wash someones car -- whatever. Then, you have to get the neighbor or sibling or parents to sign off on your service. Since you are doing it as a group you can make it fun. You can make it as complicated or simple as you wish.
Plan a Phantom activity. Where you do something anonymously for someone else. (drop cookies off on someone's door step, weed their garden)
Not sure if your girls are to that point yet, but your little ones should love it.
Spanish/English quizes to keep the languages alive. You speak the words in Spanish and have them translate it in English or vice versa. We used to do this laying in bed together. Ingrid loved it. It also opened the door to some really fun coversations and singing songs together. They were sung in either language as well.
I think scrapbooking would be great too. Have them pick out pictures and design their own books and come up with captions for the pictures. That will also open the door to their hearts. As they write the captions, you'll know what they're thinking about and what memories they have. This too will allow for conversation and sharing. You'll also be quite surprised at how they look back on those books when they get older. Just do little books. Nothing too big or overwhelming.
Robin
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