A Good Fruit Family

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,

faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

We have been managing a few behaviors lately. Okay, several thousand behaviors, but who's counting. In the midst of it all we have decided that it is best to focus on positives instead of so many rules. In order to do that we wanted to give the kids a picture of how God commands us to live if we are living for Him. Daily we pray for their hearts to desire to live for Him, and for His Holy Spirit to bring these good fruits into their lives as they seek after Him.

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits." Matthew 7:15-20

Have I mentioned that we have been managing a few behaviors lately? Lately, like the past 15 or so months. We've done a lot of teaching to the children about the behaviors. We understand the root cause of the behaviors. We are empathetic, sympathetic, highly educated regarding the cause and effect of these behaviors, and nauseously understanding. And we love our children enough to teach, train and correct them in order to help them understand their need to come humbly to Jesus in order to have good fruit lives.

It is hard to live in a house where there is rotten fruit being thrown randomly around. Even harder when it is being purposely thrown at you. We have decided to make the common places in our home (living room, kitchen, school room) safe zones where our family can freely demonstrate those good fruits mentioned above. Rotten fruit behaviors (insert your own imagined worst behaviors here) are reserved for private spaces that do not "stink up" the lives of those trying to enjoy the family.

In our homeschooling, we are learning about the character quality of patience right now, which is so very fitting as we wait sometimes not-so-patiently on the Lord to do His refining work in each of our hearts and lives. We are also learning about plant life, so the lesson above regarding the tree and fruit has fit in well with our studies. It is a clear word picture when someone is spiraling out of control with some rotten fruit behaviors. I only need to ask them to take their rotten fruit to their room (or to a bathroom if they happen to share a room with someone and that room is previously occupied) and to return when they are ready to be part of a good fruit family. (Unless you think that it is just that easy all the time, sometimes there is some escorting of the said "rotten fruit thrower" involved.)

We have all agreed that we want to be part of the tree that displays good fruits. We don't want to be cut down. A little pruning here and there is necessary - definitely! It is easy to identify those behaviors that are loving, joyful, peaceful, kind, patient, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. It is equally easy to smell the rotten behaviors that are the result of diseased trees. It has been helpful to call out these behaviors and ask the children to make an effort to choose to bear good fruits within our family - an especially difficult task for some RAD and hurt kiddos. This is incredible progress for 15 short months home. (Did I just say 15 short months? Short like 450 days or 10,800 hours - very few of which I have actually slept!) The kids are all learning that they simply cannot do it on their own and that they need to come humbly to the cross for help.

Some days, like today, are harsh and filled with landfills of rotten fruits. No doubt tomorrow will be clean up day. Just surviving the day was success enough. My belief in the sovereignty of God helps me to know that He is with me even in the messes and that He is sufficient for today, tomorrow and the next 10,800 hours of learning to grow good fruits.