Psalm 6
O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint;
O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
My soul is in anguish.
How long, O Lord, how long?
Turn, O Lord, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave?
I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.
Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer.
All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.
Our hearts break, our eyes weep, and our bodies mourn for our children, for the past they have endured and for the future and the hopes and dreams we lay down again and again before the Lord. We received difficult news and diagnoses again this week for another of our newest children.
When our pastor began his sermon series on the Psalms just last week I was so relieved to hear him speak about this book of the Bible that was written as an expression of the whole range of human experience. I was thirsty for this timeless book and the emotions that the psalmist shared. This was real agony for the author. This book is timeless and expresses perfectly our agony now after seven months of heartache, disappointment, fear, and loss. But this book also is a testimony of God's sovereignty and a reminder that none of our past seven months has been a surprise to God. And while we feel so ill equipped for the insurmountable task set before us in parenting these children with a long list of special needs while balancing the needs of the other children in our home, God is more than able.
Psalm 18:30-36
As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the Lord is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the Lord?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.
Right now we are waiting on the Lord to arm us with strength daily, to broaden the path beneath us - or to just make a path so we can see where to go from here to get the help our kiddos need. We know and trust that He is mighty and able. We believe He will enable us one day at a time and we are taking refuge in Him as we struggle through this time.
4 comments:
I'm praying, even at this late hour, for you, dear friend. Praise God for His Word, which gives life and NEVER returns void.
I came across your blog through google reader, and have been praying for your family since then. We have had similar sorrows with our son, adopted from Colombia in 11/07. His physical disabilities were many times worse than we ever thought, and if it weren't for those being so severe I am sure he would be diagnosed with an attachment disorder too. That's only to say that I ache for you and your family, and can understand your heart cries as you write. Psalms and Job have captured my heart perfectly at times. Isaiah 54 has been one of my favorites throughout our adoption process, and I hope these verses bring some sort of comfort!
11 O you afflicted one,
Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
12 I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children shall be taught by the LORD,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
Take care,
Sherri
PS- Your faithfulness has been an encouragement to me, and I've been blessed by your posts!
Praying daily that you can find strength and comfort in the One who loves, not just your children, but, you, too!!! In such pain and trials, may the God who created the universe, and each precious person in your family...hold you each closely in the palm of His hands, guiding your steps each day! You are loved, you have challenged, and inspired many by your raw, real thoughts coming straigt from your heart...God's heart. He is using you amidst this tough time...keep holding on to Him!!! Shalom!! Kristi
Dearest, dearest Megan and family: Our hearts ache for you even as we know that as you continue to hope in God HE WILL prove Himself faithful and more than able to move mountains on your behalf. We believe with you that His love is unfailing, His Word stands forever and His timing is perfect. Hold onto PSALM 27:13:
I would have lost heart, unless
I had believed
that I would see
the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the LIVING.
We will believe for this with you.
Aunt Deb & Uncle Jim
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