From Discouragement to Blessing

Recently I have been processing the feedback we get when we tell people that we are adding a sibling group to our family. Of course, the reactions vary depending on the particular person’s understanding and view of our family, world view, and adoption related issues. We are so thankful to have such a strong support system in our lives: a church that is deeply committed to preaching God’s Truth and placing a priority on reaching out to orphans, friends who encourage us and lift us up in prayer, an adoption support system that is growing in our area and across the country via online groups, a social worker who is compassionate and competent – who obviously loves her job and cares deeply about the children and families she serves, family who love us and our Colombian Brood. We are certainly blessed, and many of the reactions we have received when sharing our news have been a blessing to us.

Of course, we live in a fallen world and this life is not without its discouragement. After reflecting on the reasons why we have chosen to add a sibling group to our family in a previous post, I can also see the argument from the other side made by those people who may have sincere intentions and only want the best for our family, but whose questions ultimately end up discouraging us in this calling. We have certainly weighed their well-meaning questions, some days allowing them to turn into a frenzy of worry. They include, but are not limited to: the financial burden of providing for and adopting more than two children, the risks of adopting children out of chronological (birth) order, the risks associated with older children and bonding/attachment in adoption, and the risks/costs associated with traveling to Colombia for an extended period of time. These concerns are all worth consideration, as long as we take into account that God is still sovereign and bigger than any of these items on their own or combined.

When we allow any burden of the world to become larger than God we cheapen our faith and sacrifice our salvation to that burden. I could explain it in this way: When I allow my worry about financial security (more accurately, materialism) to burden me so much that I cannot listen to God’s call to step out in faith to sacrificially care for those less fortunate, I am saying that I cannot trust God to care for me in my obedience to Him. So then, my burden for materialism undermines my faith in God. If I continue to live like this – as is the daily temptation in this world – I will eventually sacrifice my salvation to whatever worldly burden has drawn me away from obeying my Heavenly Father.

It was with careful consideration that we listened to and answered God’s call to step out in faith to adopt a sibling group. And yet, our news will continue to be met by some who will try to dissuade us from this on the basis of conventional wisdom. But I know that “the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” 1 Corinthians 1:25. I am sure that there will also be those who will point out how we have missed or heard wrong God’s calling when we encounter difficulties in the adoption/parenting journey. But I am confident that is not the case. There is a popular idea in contemporary Christianity which says that God’s hand of blessing is evidenced by good things in your life: happiness, health, material possessions. I believe, rather, that God’s blessing is not evidenced by the presence of good things in your life, but by His Presence in the midst of life. I would rather have His peace, presence and provisions in a life filled with mountain and valley experiences, than a life on the mountaintop void of His presence. I know that when I obey Him I can have His blessings.

One of the blessings that has been abundant these days are precious hearts of love that our children have for their new brothers and sisters who are waiting to come home. Our sweet son who is just two years old will spontaneously pray throughout the day for his brothers and sisters – for their food, for them to be safe, warm and loved, for them to know that we love them, and for Jesus to “please help them to obey.” Our daughter who is three and a half years old is constantly setting aside special toys or games for the new brothers and sisters that she thinks they might enjoy having. She talks about sharing her clothes and her room and points out special things she thinks would be good gifts to buy for their birthdays. They have generous hearts and the Lord has already given them a unique love for their siblings they have not yet met.

Another abundant blessing has been Nic’s job at Tennant Company. We have been blessed by the career opportunities that God has made available for Nic there, and encouraged by the leadership team he has had a privilege of working under. This is a double blessing for me because Nic enjoys his job and it has allowed me to stay home full time, enjoying my job as a wife and mother.

This past winter a quote from one of Pastor John Piper’s sermon’s struck me as I was studying Romans: “You are not rich for yourself. God has blessed you to be a blessing.”

And so after hearing out the discouragement, it is with great hope that I write tonight, unwavering in our answer of God’s call to obedience, to be a blessing, to love the children He brings to our family.