Intercontinental Bonding

We have been working on strengthening family bonding and attachment between two continents during the past two weeks while Nic has been working in Scotland.  Having him leave for the duration of ten days when the children have just been with us for 4 months was very traumatic for all of us, but especially for the children.  We made a paper chain and have been daily counting down the days until his return.  We made video calls on Skype nearly every day and checked out his pictures of castles, sheep, trains, the Scottish highlands, and of course the Tennant Company Green Machine.  We have been blessed to have Grandma Nana help us for the first part of the journey and now Grandpa Loren is here to help.  They have provided relief and have shared in our daily craziness.  Grandparents are such a blessing.  

The weeks that have passed since the last blog entry have not brought us any closer to finding a diagnosis for Jonah since all the test results have come back normal.  Normal test results are a good thing, but normal is not at all what we experience and without some kind of diagnosis there is no help for Jonah.  It is agonizing to wait for clear direction while Jonah struggles, yet we know that God has equipped us for this, that His grace is sufficient for each day, and that He carries us moment by moment when we feel too weak to carry on.  We know that God wants us to persevere through this and it is only by His grace we are able to endure the challenges of each day.  The challenges are great.  His grace is greater still.

I had a rare moment today in the van without children present and I slid in a CD that a friend had made for me over a year ago.  The first song was by Rita Springer called Worth It All.  I often reflect on our difficult decision to adopt all of our children - and some would say to adopt difficult children.  A few people have asked me why we did it, what motivates us, how we could say amidst all the challenges to bring them home and to become a family that we would choose to do it over if given the chance.  There are no guarantees that things in this lifetime will turn out successful for us.  The thing that keeps me going isn't thinking about the change we're impacting in our children's lives.  Honestly, there isn't time to think about that, much less reflect on the fact that it has happened already.  The promise that makes it worth it all in the end is that when we felt God calling us to adopt older children, we obeyed.  We trusted Him to move forward and He paved the way.  We can trust Him with the results of our decision regardless of how the earthly results turn out for our children.  Rita Springer's song says,

I don't understand Your ways,

Oh, but I will give You my song

Give You all of my praise

You hold on to all my pain

With it You are pulling me closer

And pulling me into your ways

Now around every corner

And up every mountain

I'm not looking for crowns

Or the water from fountains

I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing

That the sight of Your face

Is all that I need

I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it

It's gonna be worth it

It's gonna be worth it all

I believe this...

In the difficult time of settling in we have been blessed by several offers of help and to be honest I've been too overwhelmed at home with parenting to even think about or respond to many of the offers.  I purposely don't answer the phone because it is too challenging for me to even give a phone call two or three minutes of my attention.  We are very thankful for the offers of help for child care, but are realizing that it is so very difficult on Jonah to have visitors at our home and to have many different people give him attention.  In order to best help his attachment and bonding a quiet, predictable routine with predictable, familiar, people is best...quite a challenge with four siblings who are ready to engage the world but still need the assurance of their parents close by.  We're still trying to juggle all of the kids needs and strengths to best help them through this time.  At this time, the most helpful thing for our family has been prayer and encouragement without judgment in our journey.  We're also thankful for the occasional meal that friends and family bring over to help us on those crazy days when everyone seems to fall apart and putting together a meal while simultaneously holding everyone else together seems almost impossible.  My girls (all three) are enjoying their sweet friends from church and are so blessed by their friendships there.  The very few play dates I have been able to manage getting them to have been a blessing to the girls and to my heart as well.  In all of this we are so thankful as the Lord has brought people into our lives to walk this road beside us, and to those who have walked this road ahead of us, too.