When Will I Ever Learn: More Lessons from a Type-A Mom

Daily I'm amazed at how God has provided His peace, grace and preparation for these very days we are walking through.  I am in awe of God's plan to equip our family for the moments we face each day as a growing family.  When people ask how things are going, the honest answer is that this time of transition is tough for everyone in our house - but it's not without much hope!  

We expected this time to be difficult, and being the Type-A Mom that I am, I had my own plan for what this difficult time would look like.  Sounds funny to plan your difficulties, I know, but true Type-A's are like that.  I've got lists of all the potential struggles we could have faced at this point in the process with contingency plans, back up emergency plans, and phone numbers - just in case I was in a panic and couldn't remember who I needed to help me when x, y or z happened.  I had so consumed myself with having things under control regarding the transitioning home phase that I didn't even see it coming when the Lord ever-so-gently nudged me off my imaginary control room throne.  When will I ever learn that I'm not in control and it's better that way?

Our struggles to settle in haven't been dangerous, scary or threatening.  There's no need for any of my well written contingency plans (not that those weren't important things to consider).  Our daily struggle is to create a family that is healthy, kind, bonded, secure, loving, and God honoring, with five children who have come to us from very different backgrounds and personalities.  This struggle is no less intense than all the struggles for which I made contingency plans.  The difference is that for this particular struggle the best help is not any one person or professional on a list, or even a whole host of professionals - it is to hunker down and just keep on struggling through the daily lessons of becoming a family together.  It is to bring my daily challenges before the Lord and to ask for His wisdom and guidance on how to create a family that honors Him.  We are working through how to teach our family values to a mixed group of children, some who have never known a healthy family life and have known every kind of disadvantage, and others who know all the right answers but are still learning how to live for God in basic life choices.  It is this struggle that we must go through in order to become the family that God has called us to be.  It is as if He has brought us to the edge of the river.  The only way to the other side is through it.  When will I ever learn that sometimes struggle is a good thing and who we become when we go through struggles with God's help is worth all the struggle in the end?  

And here I am in the middle of the river with my final Type-A analogy for the night, kicking and sputtering and flailing my arms about to drown as I insist that the way I planned for us to become a family was through homeschooling all the children.  It is, of course, the most natural thing to do in order to bond.  And it does, of course, make sense since I am a former teacher and even have a master's degree in education and still love teaching!  The flailing starts to increase as a log floats by and someone on it shouts, "Maybe you should enroll the kids in the local public school for now.  It looks like you're in over your head for the time being.  It doesn't have to be forever, just until you get to the other side."  Sputter, sputter!  Gulp!  I have nothing against the local school district.  I even substitute taught for them for a short stint upon my college graduation.  I have lots of friends who teach in the district.  It is really just a crazy me-thing that I wanted to have the kids home with me, to keep them close, to share my enthusiasm for learning with them.  There are great benefits to homeschooling; but in that moment, my desire was really about me and right now I need to take the focus off of my desires and put it onto the needs of the kids.  When will I ever learn that sometimes God has a different plan from the one I spent hours dreaming up, and His is always better than mine in the end?  And when will I ever learn that it's okay when things don't go as planned as long as we're all okay in the end?

Aliah had her first day of 2nd grade on Wednesday at the local public school and has really seemed to enjoy it.  We are blessed to share our understanding of Colombian adoption with her teacher who has also adopted a son from Colombia, from the same orphanage as Corinn and Noah.  Aliah is a hard worker and eagerly does her homework each night without complaining - what a fantastic student!  I guess I still get to do some teaching at home with her!  Jonah begins his first day of kindergarten this coming Tuesday at the same school.  He says he's excited, but it will be very different from his preschool experience in Colombia, so I'm eager to hear what he has to say about it.  I know that he's such a cutie that he'll charm his teacher when he needs help getting his jacket zipped for recess.  (Hopefully she'll see through that since he has recently learned how to do it himself!)  He only goes to school two days a week, so I'll still get him home with me the other days to teach at home.  Serena is going to be hanging out at home with me and working to make up for some lost time academically.  She's a hard worker and very motivated.  She has been begging to get started since we got home, but her official start day is Monday.  Corinn and Noah are going to hit the books (hopefully not literally) again on Monday, too, as they have been missing our regular preschool routine at home.  We've had a seven week transition and are ready to begin finding a new normal for our schedule.  I, for one, can't wait to see what that new normal may look like, though I've already created a few potential schedules for managing everyone's school schedules.  Again...when will I ever learn?!?